Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’ – Satirical Facts

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The outgoing president isn’t done filing lawsuits with the Supreme Court. Already having joined the lawsuit filed by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton — who is under federal, criminal investigation — asking the court to set aside certified election results in key states he lost to Joe Biden last month, Trump’s legal team has now filed its own motion, asking the high court to officially weigh-in on his hands and genitals.

“While this court is figuring out exactly how it will invalidate the Constitution and toss out millions of legally cast and counted ballots so that Dear President may remain in power,” the new filing reads, “His Royal Presidentness also hereby formally requests — and requires – the Justices of the Court to declare his hands and genitals are normal.”

Over the course of his tumultuous, scandal-ridden, and only presidential term, Trump all but secured the copyright and trademark for the terms “unprecedented” and “violating norms.” This new wrinkle — asking the Supreme Court to willfully disenfranchise millions of voters who cast legal votes in good faith — while shocking in and of itself, took on a twist for the neurotically erotic when Trump asked the court to affirm that his hands, penis, testicles, and perineum are all “of average to super bigly great in size, shape, smell, and other such important defining characteristics,” according to the filings.

Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’ – Satirical Facts